Self The Ultimate Guide; 7 Steps To Becoming Your “Best” Self and Living Your “Best” Life
I feel like everywhere you look on social media, there is a reel or carousel with the title, “How to become your best self.”
And let me tell you, even these posts make me cringe.
So you might be thinking, “Thalia, why did you use the same words for this blog post?”
Well, first of all, I wanted to get your attention. And second of all, there’s really no better way to describe the person you want to be or the life you want to live than by using the terms “your best self” or “your best life.”
So, we’ll go with it.
But bear in mind that your journey might not look like becoming your “best” self. It might look like becoming your healthiest, most favourite or balanced self. And that is why I have chosen to use quotation marks on either side of the word best.
So this is your permission slip to do things on your own terms.
I invite you to reframe the title in a way that works for you or replace “best” with whatever adjective suits you and your needs.
Or simply leave it how it is.
Let’s talk about your best self
Simply put, your best self means living authentically.
It is staying true to yourself and living in alignment with your values. It is being capable and having the ability to work towards your goals each day. This means being mentally and physically healthy as well as being in tune with your strengths and personal aspirations,
It also means being aware of your weaknesses and anything else that can hold you back.
By striving to become your “best” self, you are committing to a journey of self-discovery and self-development.
This journey may involve developing new skills, forming new habits, or changing your mindset.
And it is almost never linear.
There will be great moments, there will be messy moments and there will be slow moments. But by building the foundations and persisting through challenges and setbacks, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
In short, becoming your “best” self means unlocking your full potential and living your life to the fullest.
Other benefits of knowing what your “best” self and life look like include:
- Achieving your own version of success and happiness
- Gaining clarity on your personal core values
- Focusing time and energy on what truly matters to you
- Setting realistic and meaningful goals
- Making decisions that align with your values and goals
- Building self-confidence and self-esteem
- Overcoming self-doubt and fear of failure
- Strengthening the relationships you have with yourself as well as others
- Living a more fulfilling and rewarding life
- Being truly authentic and living an aligned life
“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.”
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY | GREENLIGHTS
7 steps to becoming your “best” self and living your “best” life
Tips 1 to 4 are absolutely essential in creating your “best” life.
It is not enough to lie in your bed manifesting your dreams, in the hope that they will one day come true.
You need to take action and this all starts with getting clear on your core values, defining what success means to you, setting value-driven goals and being razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.
Tips 5–7 are more health-related.
I believe that productivity and success are intrinsically linked to health and wellness.
If your well-being isn’t being taken care of, then you can’t show up every day as your “best” self and perform as well as you want to.
So get super clear on what optimum health looks like to you and build a wellness routine around this.
It also goes without saying, that even your smallest daily actions determine your future self.
So make sure your daily habits also align with who you want to be and the life you want to live. And don’t ignore the 5 basic principles of wellness that you need to do daily to help boost your overall health, well-being and productivity, and ultimately your life satisfaction.
This blog post was written with the intention that you save it and keep it somewhere accessible so you can refer back to it whenever you need to. So I encourage you to bookmark it, take screenshots or highlight sections and pin the graphics on Pinterest.
Do what works best for you always.
1 | Define your own version of success (soul-related)
Just like with wellness, everyone has their own version of success. And that’s ok.
But in a world where productivity, appearance and money dictate how successful you are, it’s easy to feel a little bit inadequate sometimes. Comparing yourself with others can easily make you feel as though you’re not good enough. Especially if you choose to follow a different path than what is expected of you.
There seems to be this age-old illusion that success means getting married before 30, having kids before turning 35, buying a house and having a “competitive” job that pays you a 6-figure salary. And unfortunately, this is how most people still view success.
On social media, success in the “female entrepreneur community” seems to be sold to you as working a 4-hour week and making 10k+ months. Even being considered an expert now also looks like having more than 10k followers on Instagram.
But honestly, success can be whatever you want it to be.
Not what the world and what people around you think it should be.
And you can’t begin to become your “best” self and start living your “best” life if you are not clear on what success looks like to you.
When you are unclear about your own definition of success, it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s expectations and opinions and to make decisions based on what you think you “should” do, rather than what you actually want to do. This can leave you feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied and disconnected from your true self.
By taking the time to reflect on what success means to you, you can gain clarity and start taking action towards creating the life you want.
Your answer may change and evolve over time, which is completely fine, but whatever success means to you, “Don’t choose anything that would jeopardize your soul.” (Matthew McConaughey)
2 | Map out your core values (soul-related)
Core values are your fundamental beliefs.
They are the things that are most important to you and guide your behaviours, decisions, and actions.
When you know what your personal core values are, you can give more meaning to your life.
Since becoming clear on my own core values, I’ve felt even more grounded within myself.
For the past 5 years, I’ve been on a self-discovery journey which has recently led me to become a digital nomad.
When so many of your friends and family question your choices and ask, “When are you going to return to the UK and settle down?” you begin to question your own lifestyle and whether you are actually making the right decisions.
But getting clear on what is most important to me has solidified that how I currently choose to live, is in alignment with my core values.
Having spent the majority of my life directionless and feeling lost, I now have a purpose that fuels me daily and excites me to wake up every morning. I now live and breathe my core values as they are the foundation of the life I have created for myself.
So do not skip this step!
When you are in tune with your core values and living in alignment with them each day, you can feel more fulfilled and have a greater sense of self-worth and happiness. Which, in my opinion, leads to living your “best” life.
3 | Set value-driven goals (soul-related)
Once you’ve defined your version of success and mapped out your core values you can then begin to set goals that you actually want to achieve.
One of the main reasons why people fail to reach their goals is because they are setting the wrong goals.
If a goal is not something that you truly want to achieve deep down inside, then the chances are you won’t be able to progress towards it or even reach it. In short, you can’t force something to work if the passion and commitment aren’t there to begin with.
So set goals that are driven by your values.
Don’t just set goals you think you “should” achieve because society tells you it’s the norm
It’s these value-driven goals that will serve as your roadmap towards creating a life you truly want.
A life that gives you purpose and makes you excited to wake up.
It’s also important to note that no goal is ever set in stone.
Things change and do evolve over time. And that is completely normal and ok. But by having a better sense of where you want to go in life and who you want to be, it is easier to stay on track and make adjustments as needed.
“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.”
Andrew Carnegie
4 | Write a letter to your future self (soul-related)
Imagine it is 3, 6 or 12 months from now.
You have either reached your goals or are getting consistently closer to them.
How do you see your “best” future self? How do they act, feel, look, believe, etc? Where do they live, work, exercise, etc?
Getting clear on how you envision your future self is the crux of your overall life-work-health vision (whatever you want to call it). It serves as the compass that will guide you to living on your own terms and keep you motivated even when things get tough.
To gain a better understanding of your future self, try this visualisation technique:
- Sit somewhere quiet
- Close your eyes
- Begin to visualise your future; be descriptive of how it looks and how you feel
- Pay close attention to the emotions and feelings that arise
If you are new to visualisation and unsure of where to start, use these journal prompts to help guide you.
Once you have a clear image of your future, capture all of these thoughts and feelings by writing your desired outcome in a letter addressed to your future self. Use the first person so it feels even more tangible and real.
For example, “I am living a balanced life in a way that works for me. I am travelling the world and the relationship I have with myself is stronger than ever. I have fewer bad days and more days where I wake up every morning feeling excited, motivated and ambitious. I feel happy and loved. I am having fun. I am confident and self-assured and I feel at my healthiest, balanced and happiest. I am discovering and exploring new places all the time and not just standing still. I am constantly moving and progressing. I am extremely proud of my progress and of myself because all of the choices I made before and the sacrifices have finally paid off. I am finally being listened to, heard and appreciated.”
5 | Master your daily habits (soul and health-related)
We’ve all heard the famous quote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (Aristotle)
But yet many of us still hold on to habits that are either not healthy or do not benefit us in any way. (I’d need a whole new blog post to explain the depth of why this is.)
So if you want to truly become your “best” self then you need to start building and maintaining healthy habits.
A healthy habit is anything you do that contributes to your physical, mental or emotional well-being and benefits you.
One way to start mastering your daily habits is by setting up a morning routine that helps set the tone for the rest of your day.
Whether it’s stretching, meditating or reading, having a morning ritual in place can help you start your day on the right foot.
Another tip is to surround yourself with positive influences. Whether it’s a supportive friend or a motivational podcast, surrounding yourself with positivity can help reinforce healthy habits and keep you motivated.
And finally, don’t forget to give yourself grace. It’s totally normal to have bad days but the most important thing is to pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the goal.
By mastering your daily habits, you can create a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.
So start small, stay positive, and keep working towards your “best” self.
You’ve got this!
“Success is the product of daily habits — not once-in-a-life-time transformation.”
James Clear | Atomic Habits
6 | Build a wellness routine that works for you (health-related)
As I mentioned earlier, productivity and wellness are fundamentally linked.
You can’t show up every day as your best, most productive self if you are denying your mind and body the self-care they need.
So how do you manage to balance self-care with your productivity?
By committing to a routine that not only allows you to prioritise your health and well-being but also helps you to create healthy habits that support your goals and daily achievements.
A wellness routine can help you to manage stress, improve your sleep and boost energy levels as well as improve overall health. When you feel at your best, you are better equipped to tackle any challenges that come your way and still manage to make progress towards your goals.
Simply put, when you take the time to build a solid wellness routine you are also investing in yourself and your future.
I also need to note how important it is to build a wellness routine that works for you! (Am I sounding like a broken record yet?)
Don’t just copy what you see your favourite influencer doing on TikTok (a.k.a drinking a green smoothie at 5 am) because this might not work for you. Remember, being your “best” self is all about staying true to who you are.
So just like with your life goals (above), make sure your health goals also align with you, your personality and your lifestyle.
For example, don’t force yourself to go to the gym if you hate working out at the gym. Find a physical activity that you actually enjoy. You’ll also find that if you build your wellness routine in this way, you are more likely to stick to it and be consistent.
So figure out what “optimum health” looks like to you and create a wellness routine based on this.
6 | Build a wellness routine that works for you (health-related)
Regardless of what your wellness routine may look like, there are 5 basic wellness principles that you still need to practice daily.
And they are:
- Sleep
- Nutrition
- Exercise
- Habits
- Self-care
It’s not rocket science to figure out that the combination of these 5 things will lead you to a healthier, happier, more balanced life.
Which will ultimately lead you to become your “best” self.
You’ll also find that each principle supports the other. Regular exercise improves sleep quality. Good sleep reduces your cravings for sugary and unhealthy foods. A well-balanced diet provides energy for exercise. Self-care advocates for rest and allows you to make these wellness practices a priority daily. Building habits encourages exercise, nutrition, sleep and self-care. Because to do all of these things, you need to get into the “habit”.
By prioritising these 5 basic wellness principles, you will not only feel better physically and mentally, but you will also be setting yourself up for “success” (in quotations because as we discussed earlier, success is subjective) in all areas of your life.
Read the full blog post
Back To Basics; 5 Ways To Practice Wellness Daily Without Spending a Fortune
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed this blog post on how to become your best self.
If you have any questions or need further guidance then feel free to send me an email.
My inbox is always open.
I also encourage you to bookmark this page so you can refer back to it whenever you need to.
And remember, no matter where you are headed make your journey your own.
Stop allowing unrealistic content from social media influencers dictate your actions. And certainly don’t subscribe to other people’s definition of success.
Become the CEO of your own life and do things on your terms.
Until next week,
♡ Thalia xx
